ange_cyber

....and here we go again...

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 05:58:46 GMT

So, haven't posted in a while as I didn't want to sound like a whining old cow. You see my back is out again - for the last 4 weeks. After seeing numerous nearosergeons, orthpeadic sergeons, chiro's and physios who knew absolutely nothing, I found an amazing dr at a pain clinic. So, together with dosing me up on lots of pills he actualy knows what is wrong with me - finally a light at the end of the tunnel.

It seems that with all my operations and laser treatments they have actually lasered by 'accident' my nerves! Just my luck. Now apparently this can never be rectified. They can only help to decrease my pain up to about 80%. I went for a mini op on Friday where they did an epidural catheter and depositied everthing from morphine, steroids, anaesthetic etc along my spine, but it's done jack squat. So we are finding out today whether I need on of two mjor ops - either a pump placed along my spine that slowly releases morphine or other strong paine meds, or to place electronic plates along my spine and then find somewhere to attache a generator. Each of these only lasts for about 5 years and they cost between 50 - 100 South African Rands. So good chance I'll have to make my way over to the UK to have it done on the NHS. Problem is NHS takes for every and at this stage I have to resign my job, am having my father move in with me to help, and my mom is out from England at the mo. I can't even get changed myself, so all fun and games. I just hope today sheds some answers.

Another concern is children. As I'm sure most of you are aware, I am ver keen for kids, but I may not be able to have them if these pumps and things are put in my body. So we have to find out what the best solution is.

Anyway, enough of my bitch session - just needed to rant a little. Thanks.
x

chaos.....love it!

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 06:36:38 GMT

So, things are pretty manic of late. Am inundated with work. did an awesome shoot yesterday for a top S.A car magazine yesterday...Speed and Sound. Was for the cover and for a feature of Babes on Bonnets:-) Had the most awesome hotrod for them to pose on. Was lots of fun, except for the photographer who seems to have constant verbal diorreah. Man could that guy talk! heard the entire life story and then some.

AM planning on opening a make-up school. Sharing a space in a beauty salon. As freelancing is turning out to be quite hectic, I will have to do night courses for the moment. Seem to have sparked quite a bit of interest, so here's to making it big. Hopefully when we move into the new house, I'll be able to build a studio at some point and work from home.

In other news. Rich and I went to Bright WAter Commons over the weekend and passed a pet shop. I was so distraught over two labradour x husky puppies I saw, stuck in a god aweful tiny cage, that I had to buy them. I don't even like dogs, I now I own two! They are actually quite cute. black with white paws, about 9 weeks old and now called Athena and Zeus. My brood is growing slowly but surely. Am going to have to move to a small holding sooner or later!

Life is pretty peachy. Now I'm off to meet with the lady who's making my wedding cake....

wedding shmedding...

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 15:29:04 GMT

Ok, so who on earth willing chooses to do a big family wedding, and why??? I am having an absolute nightmare and am on the verge of eloping. I can't take the 'have some respect for me and invite so-and-so' bullshit. When first planning the wedding it was agreed on that it would be a small and intimate affair. Now all hell has broken loose and my dear old mam is going a wee bit mental. The venue won't even be big enough for the amount of family she wants there. I haven't even met some of them, let alone Richard! Anyway, yesterday i sent her a text telling her it's my way or the highway, together with a guest list, and haven't heard from her since:-) ooooo the joy! I will NEVER get married again!

pooh

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 06:50:56 GMT

Went out with some mates on Friday night to the Songwriter's club. An underground party by techn0tribe. That should have sent the warning bells out lound and clear but alas. Seems waaaay too much alcohol was consumed, together with interesting things called Midnight Flights from behind the bar. I ended up getting home at about 6 am and still feel shit today - Tuesday. I even missed my freaking movie premiere on Sunday.
I am well and truly old;-(
Went off to the gym this morning at about 5:30 for a session with my trainer and now officially want to keel over and die!

shpanky garb...

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 15:54:57 GMT

So, went for my first meeting with my dress maker. Looks like I'll be spending a bloody fortune. Am I just easy prey, or what's the story. Came up with a fabulous dress, definate WOW factor, and I was like putty in her greedy hands. Oops.... Still seems a little crazy thinking that its' just one day in my life. But to hell with it - must spend money....must spend money...

Yeehaaa!

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 17:33:03 GMT

I bought a house today! Fan-fucking-tastic! We move in in November, so for all you buggars, there is plently space to stay (hint, hint...).
:-)

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 06:55:29 GMT

Weekend was good. Went and found a fabulous venue for the wedding(for those of you that are interested check www.moonandsixpence.co.za). Needless to say, family is going ballistic. I think I'm quite greatful my mother is in England. Had to have a long chat with her last night about the guest list. She's getting just a tad bit too excited. She's already been to fairygothmother to look for my wedding dress!

Went out with friends on Sat evening, was, for those of you that know him, Lee's birthday. had many a pangalactic gargle blasters at the cocktail place. Mmmmm....very tasty. And got a little too toasty to go off to the Red Room.

Sunday was spent at Richard's dad's farm. Had a barbeque and spoke to family in Holland who have decided to come out for the big day.

And that, as they say, is it:-) Now for a great week *fingers crossed*

I love my man..mmmm. ...mooshy

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 08:33:24 GMT

So, after my hospital debacle, I was very very nicely surprised. For those of you that don't know, Richard took me down to Cape Town on the premis that we would be sleeping on a mate's floor. To my complete surprise, my man has organised renting a four star villa over looking camps bay. Oh my god, was in complete shock. Got better when on my birthday he got down on one knee and did the deed offically, ring and all. Best birthday a girl could have hoped for. Clubbing with dodgy ppl in Cape Town was just hillarious though. It has now been 3 days and my mother seems to have planned the entire event already. Seems I"m getting married on the 15th of April. Very loved up right now:-)

WHooooohoooo!

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 08:18:16 GMT

So I am on top of the moon. Am out of hospital, after being on something *very* nice called a cocktail for 4 days - think I'm still coming down. Mixture of pethadene and other wonderful things. Anyway. I have a perforated disc and my proformus muscle has torn so hence the pain. But the bed rest has done me good as I am now being taken to Cape Town for a long weekend by my man. Seems I am in for some kind of surprise, of which he won't tell me nudder. So rather intrigued. hmmmm.....curiouser and curiouser.
Oh, and put in an official offer on the house we want. The other ppl have 7 working days to come up with the cash or their offer falls through. So I hope they are poor bastards:-)

the latest....

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 12:34:50 GMT

alright then, the latest update on the back scenario. Seems a piece of one of my discs has broken off and lodged itself somewhere where it is cutting off my sciatic nerve - hence the fact I have lost most feeling in my left foot - and is causing major muscular inflamation. This is apparently very rare, and most times the bone dries and flushes away after about 6 months. For me however, things are never this simple. So if things don't improve in a week or so, I will need to have surgery to remove the bone. Yay!

In other news, have sold our one house, and have the other on show. Hoping to sell quickly as have found a fantastic place - absolutely huge!! Plenty space for shoes. Even has a garden cottage and a black pool!! Once a goth, always a goth:-) Making an offer on the place tomorrow. fingers crossed.

Buggar...

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 09:55:49 GMT

So I thought I'd pop myself off to the chiro yesterday as my back has been feeling progressively worse over the last couple weeks. I am sure I am paying this guy to hurt me, as now I am completely bedridden - again. Seems my back never really healed properly last time, and obviously doing ballet didn't help matters. So once again, we are at the stage where we have to wait and see if I need back surgery. Oh Joy to the fucking world! Why oh why have I pissed off someone upstairs?

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 06:51:52 GMT

So, finally went and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Now I know wht everyone has been raving about. Bloody brilliant is all I can see. I think there was actually only one kid in a cinema packed with ppl. Reliving our youth? Jonny rules. mmm.....jonny....

no traveling just yet...

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 10:51:18 GMT

Seems I won't becoming over to London just yet. The docs' have said that the op my step dad needs is way too risky. It hasn't been done very often and hasn't had very good results either. For the next month they are going to inject his heart with steroids. so we will see how that goes, if not, the operation will have to be done. The op involves taking out his heart and removing the lining. Nice. So will see what happens. As much as I'd love a shopping trip to London, I don't want this to be the reason.

Otherwise, all good. Weekend was nice and relaxed. A bit of shopping here and there and still on the prowl for a house. Saw Hitchhikers Guide - bloody marvelous.

London trip

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 07:53:17 GMT

So, looks like I may be coming to London for the latter part of September. Seems my step-dad may need a very big heart op so need to go and support the fam. HOpefully everything will go, and I can fit in some shopping and visiting. Will let you know when it's certain.

Ahhhh................

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 17:05:26 GMT

Panic set in after about an hour of searching for my precious Mobius, until there was movement in a nearby pot in the garden....
Ahhhh........

boys and girls out to play

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 11:50:43 GMT

Went to support my tattoo artist's band - Blood Line, on Friday night. The flier said "Punk vs Rock'". Ppl refrained from telling me the rock part was hardcore thrash metal = noise (in my opinion). So I go attired in the platform stillettos, corset etc. On arrival nearly tripping over some child puking up in the street, you would have thought i'd have caught on. But alas. I walked into venue only to discover that I was the only female who looked like one - waaaay too many little ashley simpson wannabees for my liking - and that I had obviously been invited to be a chaperone. If it wasn't for my tattoo friend and Richard, I surely would have been the eldest person there.
The evening got better when the only decent seating (those stilletto wearers out there would know how important decent seating is) was right next to the mosh pit! I spent most of the evening shoving little boys and girl/boys off me and asking if I could just please give them a bath!
Have I turned into my mother??? No, she doesn't have my taste in shoes:-)

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 07:11:21 GMT

So I"ve only gone and found the house of my dreams. It's on a mountain and the view is spectacular, you can see for miles. It has four bedrooms, double garage, koi pond etc etc. Even has a soundproof room - a dungeon did you say???? NOw just have to work on my finances.....
Went to zeplin's on sat too. Had a nice little boogie session with Richard's little brothers. As I was designated driver was not as interesting for me as say the fucked off her tit's girl who wanted to make friends with me. As she told me she has been heroine free for four months but was none the less bollocked, I ran for the hills. Glad there are still plenty of weirdo's out there to make me feel normal:-) Which i'm sure some of you might say 'takes a lot for that' - yeah, I know who you are.....

times, they are changing

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 20:14:08 GMT

So, am thinking of buying a house and a new car. I feel awfully grown up. How things change. Although, seeing as I want a house for future children I am having to move out of town so I can have a nice big garden. Only problem with that is that everything is in bloody afrikaans, and for those of you in the know, I can't speak/read/understand afrikaans for shit. Going house hunting this weekend. Should be interesting, seeing as I need at least 4 bedrooms, preferably with a garden cottage, as I just have WAAAAY too much stuff. Must stop buying shoes...... I think that's the only thing keeping me from baby land:)

thaaaat

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:24:58 GMT

crap!!!

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:24:16 GMT

spose it would helpif I posted the pics properly!

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:23:13 GMT

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bodypaint

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:20:45 GMT

Have been so manic at the moment with work, but loving it. Besides doing the usual blah wedding thing, got a change to do a bodypainting event. Was great fun, but only gave me a couple hours per person so had to do a simple job. Getting hold of an airbrush soon, so hope to be doing more exciting stuff.
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Thu, 14 Jul 2005 06:55:49 GMT

So, spose I should update briefly. All's good in a nutshell:-)
Loved being in durbs for those few days, just a pity I had to come back so early for work. Hopefully see everyone soon.

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 12:35:27 GMT

Does anyone know where Android is?????

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 11:37:38 GMT

You kill for revenge.
That is because you have lost something or someone you held very dear. Now you can't seem to get over the loss that marked your soul, and the only solution is to go after the one person who brought all this pain to you. Chances are you are angry inside and you bottle everything up and don't talk to anyone about it. People may want to help, but you think that they can never understand your pain and only get frustrated because of this. But it is important to see all that you have left and be thankful of that even if you have lost something great. It may not be true that Times heals all wounds, but with time and talking about your feelings, maybe the hurt will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself
Quote: "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec
Facial expression: Gritted teeth and teary eyes

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